Once upon a time, I was an alien.

Once upon a time, I was an alien. 

I was zooming along in space when I came across a planet, or moon. It was difficult to tell which type it was, because my ship's instruments were pretty vague and useless. So I landed on the nearest pyramid I found on this celestial body. Rather than go out though, I decided to stay in my ship for the night with what later turned out to be my pet turtle. That is to say, I knew at the time he was my pet, but, you know, not that he was a "turtle." Understandable and all, seeing as I was new to this planet (it turned out to be a planet, having an atmosphere and all, which I determined by doing the atmospheric readings my ship was for some reason incapable of).

Well anyway. The next day I decided to go and explore the area and see if there was anything interesting to do.

In my journey, I came across a bridge. After staring at it for several  seconds, I determined it was a pretty poorly built bridge and that these people were poor or something. With great trepidation and concern for my bodily well-being, I crossed the bridge.

Turns out the bridge was sturdy enough and I survived the crossing.

I entered the town on the other side and set about trying to find someone to perform experiments on. I wandered into the first doorway I found, which, as you can tell from the shape of it, was in an Arabic-type town. Being in the dark and all, I decided to turn on a light. But that light was too bright, so I turned it off and got out my flashlight. No one appeared to be home, but I wasn't about to just leave their house, having just arrived, so I started to make my way across the main room.

Here you can see where I drew the layout of what I discovered. That L shape is this room's couch, which I discovered with my shins, suddenly and abruptly.

Shins aching, I screamed an OBSCENE SENTENCE, immediately deciding to get off this cruel planet at once and for all time.

A father pointed out a bright shining light streaking across the sky to his son and said "Look, son. A shooting star!"

I shrieked from my ship blasting into space, "HELL NO IT'S NOT. SCREW YOU GUYS."